Master the Selling Muscle and Overcome the Discomfort Around It!
Master the Selling Muscle and Overcome the Discomfort Around It!
The more I speak with my clients, executives, or business persons, the more I hear the same innate aversion to sales. Today, we are deep-diving into the causes behind this resistance and why mastering the art of selling is crucial for startup founders and service providers especially.
In this article, I’ll share insights from expert Brian Tracy and his renowned book, The Psychology of Selling, and provide tips on how anyone can learn this art with ease and confidence.
The Psychology of Selling: Learning from Brian Tracy
Brian Tracy’s The Psychology of Selling is regarded as a cornerstone in sales training literature. The book goes beyond mere techniques and tactics, diving into the psychological principles behind successful sales—what makes people say “yes,” and how sellers can ethically and authentically influence buying decisions.
One of Tracy’s key messages is that people tend to buy emotionally and later justify their purchases logically. This insight means that understanding your client’s feelings, desires, and fears is often more important than just highlighting product features.
Successful sales professionals, Tracy emphasizes, focus on building rapport, trust, and delivering value—beyond simply “closing a deal.” He also highlights the importance of mindset, noting that confidence, goal setting, and self-image play massive roles in sales success.
Tracy even suggests that 80% of sales success is psychological, and only 20% is technical. That’s great news—it means most of us already have what it takes. We just need to know how and when to tap into it.
Why Does Selling Feel Uncomfortable?
Let’s address the elephant in the room: why do so many people dread the idea of selling—or being sold to?
For most of us, the resistance comes from past negative experiences. We’ve all experienced high-pressure tactics or felt uncomfortable being pitched to when we weren’t ready, only to regret the purchase later.
Another factor is the fear of rejection. It’s no surprise that sales is often seen as intimidating or even unethical. A Harvard Business Review article revealed that sales is perceived as one of the least trusted professions. But this perception is based on outdated models of selling—focused on persuasion and pressure instead of service and partnership.
Good news?
Modern selling is about helping, not hustling. Tracy reiterates that when done right, selling becomes a noble profession—solving real problems for people. It’s not about tricking anyone—it’s about clarity, connection, and mutual benefit.
The Importance of Learning ‘How to Sell’ for Startups and Service Providers
If you’re building a business, especially as a founder or solo service provider, you are your first and most important salesperson. Here’s why mastering sales is non-negotiable:
1. The Fittest One Survives
In the startup ecosystem, having an innovative product or service is just the beginning. You must sell the idea—to customers, stakeholders, and investors.
According to CB Insights, 35% of startups fail due to a lack of market demand, which often stems from poor messaging and ineffective sales efforts.
Your ability to articulate value and move others to action keeps your venture alive.
2. Fostering Relationships That Last
Sales isn’t a transaction—it’s the foundation of long-term customer relationships.
Service-based businesses thrive on trust, referrals, and retention. A Salesforce report shows that 76% of customers expect consistent interactions across departments, meaning sales today are closely tied to ongoing relationship management.
3. Bringing in Investment
Whether you’re pitching to an angel investor or presenting to a board of directors, sales skills matter.
Investors buy into your vision, not just your numbers. Your ability to passionately and clearly communicate what you’re solving and why it matters can make all the difference.
4. Bridging the Value Gap with Confidence
As a service provider, your expertise is your product.
If you’re not confident in communicating your value, potential clients won’t be either.
Sales enables you to tell your story, highlight your impact, and position yourself as the solution they’ve been looking for.
Master the Art Through Coaching
The good news is: selling isn’t a talent you’re born with—it’s a skill you can learn and relearn, especially with the right coaching support.
Coaching plays a pivotal role in shifting your mindset around sales, uncovering limiting beliefs, and replacing resistance with confidence.
Let’s see how coaching can help:
1. Identifying Your Sales Story
Many of us carry subconscious beliefs like “sales is sleazy” or “I’m not good at convincing people.”
Working with a coach helps you uncover these internal narratives and reframe them.
You learn to see selling not as manipulation, but as an invitation to transformation.
2. Learning to Listen Like a Coach (and Seller)
Both coaching and sales rely on deep listening.
Working with a coach sharpens your active listening skills, enabling you to understand your client’s pain points, values, and motivations—so you can align your offer authentically.
3. Detaching Rejection from Personal Worth
Fear of rejection is one of the biggest barriers to selling.
Coaching helps you explore your emotional response to “no,” detach your self-worth from outcomes, and bounce back with curiosity instead of shame.
You start to view rejection as feedback, not failure.
4. Creating a Growth Plan That Fits You
Everyone sells differently. A coach helps you build a sales strategy based on your unique communication style, strengths, and energy.
Whether you want to sell through storytelling or refine how you position your value, coaching ensures you grow authentically.
Conclusion: Shifting the Psychology of Selling
The psychology of selling isn’t about pushing products; it’s about serving and empowering people to make informed decisions they feel good about.
Coaching bridges the gap between knowledge and action, helping you show up to sales conversations with more presence, less fear, and a deeper sense of purpose.
When you shift your mindset, your sales shift too.
And that shift?
It starts on the inside.